My mom is a monster
by kris hawkeye
Summary: What would happen if the boy saw his parents making out? What would be his reactions?


"Shikamaru… stop that" Temari giggled as Shikamaru continued to kiss and nip at her neck. "you're ticklin- ah" Her lips escaped a moan as he gently pinched her ample breast to shut her up. She was sitting in his lap. His waist was wrapped with her legs. "Shut up woman, you're ruining the fun" He mumbled reaching her ear. "But It tickl- AH" she moaned again. She paused as a thought crossed her mind. "Hey, is Shiki already asleep?" He gently slid her black kimono just enough for her shoulders to be expose. He sucked on her right collarbone leaving a bite mark on it. "Yeah he is" he continued lower until he reach the valley of her breast. " that kid is really troublesome…"

He was wrong

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Shiki, the five year old son of Shikamaru and Temari wasn't having a very nice sleep. He tried various positions, but failed finding a comfortable spot. He missed his teddy bear. He left it at his parent's bed yesterday. It was the one that his uncle gave to him as a present. It was his first and favorite toy. His uncle said that it was his best friend when he was still a boy. But since he's the kazekage now, he didn't really need that childish stuff.

"Stupid teddy" the boy muttered to himself " now I have to go to their bedroom just to get a comfortable sleep… what a drag" He opened his door only to face darkness, he remembered something his father told him

"_Hey dad!" he greeted his father who is rubbing his newly whipped head " oh I see… you've been whipped again by mom"_

"_your mom is really a monster"_

"_a monster?" the boy suddenly got nervous " wh-what? my mom is a monster? But how is she a monster?"_

"_Forget it, it's too troublesome to explain"_

Shiki straightened out his body. _"I've got to do this or else I would become insomniac as my uncle" _He gathered all the courage that was still left on his body. He gently made silent footsteps towards his parents bedroom. "ah-" he heard someone scream but ignored it, and quickened his pace. He reached for the door and noticed that it was slightly opened. . He couldn't hear what they were saying, only the screams and moans. He took a peek but it was too dark to see anything Thanks to the light illuminated by the moon, he could see their silhouette. He could clearly see from their outline that they were not sleeping, and generally doing something

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"Stop it… it's my turn" Temari said. He grinned. She pushed his husband on the bed so he would be lying on his back.

"**Oh god he pushed dad!"** Nara Shiki covered his mouth with shock **"just what is mom doing?"**

She placed her palms on his chest and slowly trailed towards the sides of his face. She leaned forward and kissed him passionately. She sucked his lower lip asking for entrance and Shikamaru gladly welcomed her.

"**wha-what the?! Mom is eating dad's soul away from him!"** the little boy panicked

They ended the kiss for air. But quickly continued. Only this time Shikamaru is moaning.

"**Holy crap! That monster of a mom isn't satisfied yet! She keeps on sucking dad's soul away from him. And now he's making funny sounds? What should I do?"**

They stopped kissing

"**they stopped… is she satisfied?"**

Temari smirked and pull Shikamaru's shirt over his head and kissed his chest.

"**Oh my God! What is she trying to do now? She's taking off his clothes! Is she going to grill him? Fry him to death?"** He paused **"Hey' I don't want to have a fried dad!"** the boy squealed after having an encounter with his nasty thoughts. Temari heard this, as she turned her gaze towards the door. **"Mom heard me? Oh boy she's looking this way! What the hell should I do? I better run!"** With that, he quickly ran as fast as he could just to reach his room and quickly shut the door.

"Did you hear that?" She asked

"no I don't…. Forget that, let's just continue"

"I'd be glad to" she smirked

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**The next day….**

Nara Shiki was the first to wake up from the three, since he was having a continuous night mare about what he saw last night. The next one to wake up was his dad.

"Hey dad! A very very good morning to you" the boy greeted his father happily "I'm a very glad that you're still alive"

"alive? What are you talking about?" Shikamaru was puzzled with his son

"you know dad, I've finally decided that I agree with you"

"agree with what?"

"That mom is truly a monster"

"I see… But why do you think she is?" he asked taking a sip of his coffee.

"I saw you two last night. I don't exactly know what you two are doing but I saw mom pushed you in the bed. And what's worse is she kissed you sucking your soul away from you" Shikamaru's eyes widened as his coffee came out from his mouth and nose " and then she ripped your clothes and I think that she's trying to fry you" The boy look at his father who is now very red with embarrassment.

"Yo-you saw it?!" Shikamaru panicked

"yeah… but not the whole thing… just half" the boy sighed as he continued " I can't believe that my mother is truly a monster."

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Well done! My first attempt of a humorous fic.. But i don't think it is...

Pls. review….


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